“Why don’t you ever write about me?”, she asked me, a little with jealousy.
“Do you see me write about anyone from the past?”, I asked.
“Well, yeah. You do. You should write a post about me, after all, I may have left some impact on you, didn’t I?”
“Yeah. You did. Tell you what, I will write my 50th post about you”. I replied earnestly.
“Cool”. She replied and got back to bowl. She got 9 pins with the shot. Cursing for not getting a strike she came to me and said, “You better write about me, and it better be good, or the next big ball I hold will drop on your foot”.
I almost laughed at the thought of what she said when she shouted, “Don’t even….”. There was an instant silence. A couple moments later, we burst into laughter. It was my turn with the big ball, and it was a strike.
This is actually my 50th post and like every person who has come (and gone) into my life, this one played an important role too. Fortunately she’s not gone yet, and we are still friends, although friendships to tend to wither after one of the two gets married. Let’s just hope it doesn’t get to that.
So what do I write about her? Usually writing about someone involves talking about how we first met and then taking it from there. Considering this was an accidental meet and it certainly is known to a lot of mutual as well as individual friends of the both of us, I’d rather not disclose that. But let us talk about her as a person before we talk about her as my friend.
Emma, let’s name her after Rachel’s daughter for the post. Emma is that one friend who you can do without. Trust me. But if you have the misfortune of becoming her friend, you’d never want to ever unfriend her. Much like an iPhone, you know you don’t need it, but you don’t know what you are missing until you have one. I’m talking about the pre-2012 iPhones, everything after that is just copied shit. Emma is chirpy and emotional. She could sense if you are in a bad mood and do something just right to cheer you up, but if she’s in a bad mood, there is absolutely nothing right that you can do. Pretty sensible and logical till the time she is a close friend of yours, once close, you would find that she attaches to pretty much everything emotionally, even a toothpick. Okay that’s an exaggeration but you get the idea, she whole heartedly loves someone or something, when she does love that someone or something.
That’s when things get weird. You see, a normal human being has a tendency of dependency. We grow up depending on advice from parents, teachers, mostly friends. Then we get a mentor, or a role model, we try and follow them, and so on. With Emma however it is that she would depend on you, and it’s not one sided, as she depends on you for love, affection and attention, she would return the favour in equal or usually more amounts. That goes with the hatred too. You break her heart once, she can forgive you perhaps. Break it another time and you’re dead to her. I was dead to her for months. But you see, she did lie to me about something too so we kinda are even, I believe so and as you may have guessed, she doesn’t.
Emma and I have had a topsy turvy friendship. To become good friends you need to share a secret. You only share a secret when you trust that person. I trusted Emma from the day I met her. She never trusted me, probably doesn’t trust me even now. The best part about our friendship is that when we decide to meet, we are not usually late. That’s the right check on my book. But we had our ugly times. We have fought, apologised, cried, fought again, for many, many weeks. Old wounds take time to heal, but like a notorious teenager I keep scratching our wound and never let it heal. I think she has gotten immune to it now. Perhaps that’s her best virtue. You can push her to the edge, but if she sees good in you, she knows you are not going to throw her off. So no matter what you do, she will sit there and listen to it calmly without even flinching her eyebrow.
All this being said, I also check her out physically from time to time. She’s put on some extra kilos, but she’s still in good shape. Before the feminists begin to attack me, here’s the thing I want to sort out. Men check out women, women check out men. If there’s a sliver of hope, we don’t miss the chance. With Emma though there is no sliver, there is an opaque wall shunned in between us thanks to her current relationship status. So I have stopped bugging her with the usual, “What If” and you know what follows. Although I sometimes do sit and wonder, What if? What if we were to be in a relationship? Then I remember the fights and realise it would be a potential disaster.
I wouldn’t lie when I say in the past 3 years or so, there have been moments when we have been attracted to each other. It’s science. It’s hormones. It’s a normal thing. But did we actually take that attraction somewhere? Well.
P.S. Creative liberty as an artist taken. Much like my #NotSoSmallTalk stories, there aren’t a 100% real nor are 100% fictional.
Cover pic courtesy: Kevin