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The Fool Who Dreams
I was in Mumbai for my appointment at the Polish Consulate sometime in 2015. My return ticket to Hyderabad was booked, the flight was at 6 PM. I got done at the consulate before 11 AM. I rushed back to the airport, went to the airline counter, asked to be moved to the 1 PM flight. The girl at the window said politely, "Sir, you have to pay ₹8800/- for the change of flight". I reached for my wallet, took out my Polish Debit Card and handed it to her. That amount was probably less than 1% of my bank balance, and I had kept the money in my Polish bank account only for travel, which I did extensively in 2015. Fast forward to 2017 now. Karan, Utkarsh and I went to buy wine to celebrate. Karan picked up a bottle for us. I checked the price, ₹1300/- it said. I gave back the bottle and bought another wine for half the price. That, that moment is when it was the 1000th time that I asked myself "Why The Fuck Did I Leave Deloitte?"
A voice from inside me yelled, "To follow your dream!"
"And what is my dream?", I asked.
"To be famous, to be famous enough to influence people, and then influence them with all the positivity you carry around.", my inner-self said with pride.
"But what about now? Am I happy now?"
"You can atleast try to be", it replied.
I sighed and walked home with my best friends. We drank that night, we danced at a bar and we woke up at home, safe and sound. I was happy. There are always things to be happy about.
Fast forward to the next day, we watched a beautiful movie called La La Land. Without disclosing any spoilers, I would like to say that the movie is essentially every dreamer's fairytale. I kept relating myself to the characters of the story and I can't believe it touched my heart so effectively that I spent the whole day listening to it's soundtrack over and over again. The movie taught me that it is never easy, never have been and never will be easy to chase your dream. So I will do exactly that, chase my dream.
Although I know I am not a great writer but I try, and so I keep trying. Here's something I wrote.
Every story I write, every blog I publish,
Every video I shoot and every vlog I make public.
Each one with a dream, every single one with a hope,
To catch that shining star, which keeps slipping like a soap,
Hoping to make the difference,
Without much interference.
But the world isn't that kind,
It keeps making me grind,
Yet I will not give up, no I will not give in,
Till I make it big, I just have to keep my strength within.
I have to wear a smile and tell people I'm doing fine.
But deep down I'll always know, how hard it is to grow.
Atleast I'll be more humble, I will stop this grumble,
Like a little boy I dream, yeah like a little child I envision,
That everything I write, will be in concision,
For every story I write, every blog I publish,
It's for you, for me, for everyone who dreams and is a little foolish.
The Truth about following your dream is that every hustle that you can imagine is true. You have to keep hustling and hustling till you get there and then hustle more to stay there. I am doing that. I am fighting with myself everyday, worrying everyday about my future, but I am staying here and going forward. I will not go back. I cannot go back.
I hope every dreamer out there is as determined. I could use some community help every now and then :)
It feels good to share. Thanks for being there for me.
Cover Pic Courtesy: CindyNinja