It's Been A Year

That was the first time in my life I drove with tears in my eyes. I didn't realise it until the vision began to blur. It was close to midnight, not much traffic. I had just hugged the love of my life for the last time. I was on my way to my apartment to pack up my bags and head to the airport. I was leaving Krakow, Poland for an unknown amount of time, possibly forever. Much against my heart's wish, my brain knew I was not going to see her again for a long time. This was on 31 Jan 2016, exactly a year ago.

In the next 12 days I would leave the job that gave me everything, money, foreign locations to work in, friends, and from my many new friends, one became my girlfriend. Leaving her behind was the hardest part of my journey of being FinallyJobless. We were not a perfect couple, no one is, but there is one quality in her that would attract pretty much any person in the world. She accepted me for who I am. My tantrums, my temper, my agitations, my complaints, my nature, my love, everything was always the way I wanted it to be and it was received the same way. I never had to Change.

I can't say whether she got the same treatment from me, but she was with me for the whole time, so maybe I wasn't that bad either. I've had many heartbreaks in my life, but none like this one. It is one thing to break up because you have problems, and another because you are leaving the country. It's been a year and yet all the memories are still fresh in my head. The good ones are more thought about, but the bad ones are important too. I learnt a lot about her, from her and thus I learnt a lot about women and people in general. She would tell you everything straight up in your face, and many might not like that. I would admit I was taken aback a couple times as well. But, she's a European, they aren't Like Indians, we are used to pursuing people, convincing them when they say no, they are not. So, who's in the wrong here? None. It's just a different culture.

1 year later, it doesn't feel the same. Several nights I go to bed thinking "what if", but that time will not be coming back. It's not easy to move on, yet when you respect someone enough, you know that your hanging by the thread is not really dangerous for the either of you. People say "true love never dies", I believe that love can go away, but if you are a good person, the respect for the other will never go away. However, I can't be sure if it's out of love or respect that I care about her the same even after a year. If I had to put my money on it, I'd choose love.

That night, she wanted to help me pack, spend few hours with me and drop me to the airport. I said "No". I gave her a reason that it would be too late for her and that it's just not feasible because she lives far away. She agreed eventually. That was partially true. Why I didn't tell her though was that I would not have had the strength to say goodbye at the airport. I do not know how I would have reacted but it wouldn't have been pretty. No one can let go off their partners at the airports. It's just heartbreaking to the exponential level.

I'm just thankful for her love and care. We had some great times. So, I'm going to take a glass of Polish Vodka and shout "Nazdrowie" (to good health) for the both of us. I love you and I will always love you.

-Naimish