I am Homesick

I can’t believe this. I really cannot believe I feel homesick. I haven’t felt homesick in decades, literally decades. Even in my school days all my hostel mates would be thrilled to go home and I would be sitting in a corner looking at those maniacs running around packing for home. Even today I pack my stuff in the most lethargic manner, pick up everything you get your hands on and put it in a suitcase.

So, this is new. This feeling of eagerness to run to mummy and papa and give them a hug is new to me. It has always been there I know, but I haven’t felt it much ever. I am not cold, don’t get me wrong. History is the witness to how many times I have faked my sickness to stay home an extra day after the vacations are over. I have been wired that way, I settle in a place quickly and then I dread leaving it. Maybe it’s the city, my new city. Mumbai.

I have only spent 2 weekends out of 6 in Mumbai. I am sort of running away from it. Maybe. But then, I actually like it here. The city is growing on me. All the more reason to like it is Karan, my best friend is moving to Mumbai from February. So, that might not be the case. Is it my salary? I saw my salary credit SMS today. It’s close to half of what I made in Deloitte, perhaps even lesser. I live a luxurious life, and that I cannot afford with the peanuts I make. Maybe that’s why I want to go home, tell this to my parents and be relieved. Maybe not. I knew very well what I was getting into from the beginning.

It is likely that it’s none of the above and it simply is the fact that I lived with my parents too long during my unemployment stint that I miss that. The same way in which I miss Krakow, Izmir, Pune or Hyderabad. I have some really close friends at all these places and given a chance I’d want to run to them and hug them. So yes, it’s most likely that.

I have never put my parents on a pedestal. I don’t know if they deserve one. For me, someone who helps me through thick and thin are my heroes. Some of my friends have, and they are on a pedestal. My parents, not so much. It’s my fault actually because I never really shared my problems with them. They are kind, but not the best advisors to be honest. Yet, I must say they have supported me with my recent shenanigans and they deserve to be on a pedestal. I stand corrected.

If I make something of myself in media, the credit goes to my parents first, because they took me in while I left a high-paying job to follow a dream which I didn’t even know I believed in. So yes, maybe I am missing them because they are my lifeline. I have never felt obliged to respect someone unless they deserve it. I was mostly raised in hostel so the learnings came to me from friends rather than family, hence my parents only earned my respect when they ensured that my sister got what she asked for, obviously not illogical things like “I want to study in Poland, because it’s a nice place”.

I could keep talking about respect but that could be in another blog. Anyway, so since I was missing my folks, I decided to buy a ticket to home this weekend. Vadodara I will see you on Saturday morning. Tata!!!

Please tell me you guys feel nostalgic from time to time too!! Do you? Leave a comment.

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