“Dude”, I shouted at Karan to draw his attention
“No”, came back a sharp reply
“No I don’t want to hear it”
“How do you know it was something I was going to ask?” I replied nervously because Hey, wanna know what happened at the office today was exactly what I was going to ask.
“Naimish, enough man. I do not want to know what is happening at your work and how things are not going the way you hoped for them to go”
“But But” I fumbled
“Listen, suck it up okay. This is how you grow. This is how you learn. You need to adjust. Stop cribbing and complaining”
“But I was not going to complain, I was just going to tell you a funny incident”, this is true by the way.
“Oh!” Karan replied astonished “Then go on”, he said.
“May be not”, I got up and walked into the bedroom and started browsing through pointless videos and posts on Facebook.
The truth is, Karan was right, in a way. I have been bummed out about work pretty much all the time. It’s not that they are doing something wrong. Any guy in the industry will tell you “This is how it gets done in media”. Any one. But I am used to a different environment. The IT environment. IT companies work differently. Deadlines don’t change. Designs don’t change, okay may be they do but they go through a process. Media is an agile development model, where in everyday someone will tell you “You know what, this doesn’t look good”
The deadline will get pushed back, because now we need to change everything. This is okay for some people, it isn’t for me. I am not used to it. I like the higher ups to plan better and share the plan with the employees like us. There is absolutely no reason to say they are wrong, maybe they aren’t. But wouldn’t it make the employee’s life a lot better if they just shared the plan when they change it from the initial one which we only come to know 4 weeks after they made it and yet we don’t know the whole thing but we kind of try to figure it out by playing the guessing game? Yes it is.
My problem with the industry is that they don’t care about their employees, well frankly no one in India does. I openly write on medium about the bad experiences, it shows how much I care less about this. There is a chronic problem and I have been complaining about it to everyone I meet. Karan bears the blunt the most because he chose to be my roommate. Karan and Utkarsh try to keep me calm. Some of my other friends too. Which always ends with one question, what do I do now?
I go to work everyday with a fresh enthusiasm to do something great that day. I make videos around technology from around the world. I try to keep it Indian for the audience. I upload some of them on Facebook and then leave the office waiting to get a chance to be in front of the camera. I have run out of complaints. I have run out of ideas to make videos for my channel and the ideas that we do have are just not good enough. It’s not that I don’t love what I do at Network18. I love the work. I just didn’t think I would be doing that. I mean I had no clue when I left my job at Deloitte about what I would be doing. No clue. How dumb is that?
I know this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I don’t know what I want to do. I am once again stuck in the corporate cycle and this time it is hard to break free. This time I do not have a bank balance to save me or get me through. All I know is I want to make people happy. That is it. That is just it. Everything that I go through, I want people to never go through it. I don’t know how to do it. No idea. Maybe it’s just who I am. A confused idiot who’s not good at anything.
I started off this blog thinking about telling the story of how I have changed from being crabby cribber to a new hopeless optimist but I guess that was just a temporary illusion I lived in. I am still complaining. I am still looking for answers. Perhaps it actually never comes easy. You have to work relentlessly towards your goal. My goal as of now is to make people happy and I will keep going forward. Whether it’s my videos, my job, my blog, my stories or me in person, that is what I will be working on.
Throughout the way though I plan to crib a lot. To people who love me for who I am. To my best friends and supporters who are standing by me right now and will do in future. You guys have a tough job, but let’s do it. Let’s make people happy. That is the goal now. 🙂